


to hell with fate

by misskatieleigh



Series: fight the devil most of the days [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BodhiRookWeek2017, M/M, Panic Attacks, Wedge is a Good Guy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 20:14:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10669977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misskatieleigh/pseuds/misskatieleigh
Summary: It was meant to be a simple mission. Humanitarian. And he’d volunteered. He’d wanted - no, needed - to go. Needed to see what was there. What was left.In hindsight, nothing could have prepared him for this.





	to hell with fate

**Author's Note:**

> Set after the Battle of Yavin. The rebel forces have moved to the base on Hoth, but must often go on supply runs due to the inhospitable environment on the planet’s surface. They begin to hear reports of a group of people still living on the moon of Jedha. The scientists propose sending an expedition to study the effects of the Death Star. This, along with the support of Princess Leia Organa, whose own home planet was destroyed, leads to a team being assembled for the purpose of research and to provide aid to anyone stuck on the surface. Former Imperial pilot and Jedhan native Bodhi Rook volunteers to go on the mission, his first since recovering from injuries sustained in the Battle of Scarif.

It was meant to be a simple mission. Humanitarian. And he’d volunteered. He’d wanted - no,  _needed_  - to go. Needed to see what was there. What was left.

In hindsight, nothing could have prepared him for this.

The air was thick with dust. Like every particle, every speck of sand and rock and bone, had ceased to obey gravity, desperately seeking toward the sky. 

Jedha, trying to escape itself. 

Bodhi snorted to himself softly. From Imperial to rebel to poet, he was really running the gamut these days. His breath caught in his throat as the shuttle touched down, Bodhi half expected to walk out and see a swath of clean atmosphere marking their path back into space. That was foolish nonsense though, a child’s fairy story, and Bodhi was long past the innocence required for such thoughts.

Pushing himself up from his seat, Bodhi looked over the crew that had been chosen to come along. They were a mixed group, some - like him - new to the rebellion, others veterans of more battles than they cared to think about, happy to be on a peaceful mission for once. Bodhi recognized a few faces from around base, some nurses from his stay in the medbay mostly. No one else from Jedha though. He briefly thought of Baze and Chirrut, the latter still lying pale and quiet in that same medbay, the former refusing to leave his partner’s side. Bodhi’s heart ached thinking of them, all that they’d lost and all that they still clung to. He was here for them too, carrying their weight on his back alongside the rest of his guilt.

Then, of course, there was Wedge. Wedge who’d somehow managed to become this orbiting presence in his life. He never pushed, never seemed to be forcing himself into Bodhi’s space – he wasn’t following Bodhi like some misguided stalker. In fact, as far as Bodhi could tell, he hadn’t changed his routine at all. Still, Bodhi kept _noticing_ him. Maybe he was the one who had changed.

Cassian thought it was hilarious. He teased Bodhi every time he caught him following Wedge with his eyes. Bodhi thought to point out that Cassian did the same thing every time Jyn entered a room, but that was too much of a sore point and he didn’t have enough friends to take the chance of driving one away. After Scarif, after whatever had passed between them on that beach, Jyn had closed herself off. She was on-mission-all-the-time and Cassian was just _lost_.

Cassian knew Wedge, of course, but only tangentially. They didn’t work together – gathering intel was mostly solo work – but everyone on base seemed to respect him. That settled Bodhi’s nerves a bit. It was comforting, though, to have the choice.

So while the Empire hadn’t inspired compassion in many among their ranks, Wedge seemed to have it in spades. Maybe that was part of why he had defected. Knowing that bit of shared history between them helped too; Bodhi could see that there was a place for him among the rebels, that he wasn’t the first. A quiet part of him hoped that he wouldn’t be the last.

The noise of the crew getting their gear together drew Bodhi back from his thoughts. Through the front viewport he could see that the other shuttle had landed beside theirs, though that one only carried a pilot. Their intel had been vague, but they lived on hope, so they prepared for the possibility of survivors. Someone pushed a mask into Bodhi’s hands – one of the scientists judging by the equipment strapped to their body. He must have looked confused, just holding the mask in his hands because they mimed putting the mask onto their face, saying, “The air’s probably not safe to breath. Put that on until we have a chance to test things, okay?”

Bodhi nodded, lifting it to his face and fiddling with the strap until it was secure. The mask pressed down on his cheekbones a little uncomfortably, covering his face from forehead to chin, Bodhi imagined that it needed to work for as many species as possible. Transparisteel fogged in front of his eyes, but seemed to clear if he focused on breathing mostly through his nose. There was no air tank, just filters fitted along the side of the mask. He glanced at the scientist who nodded in return, gesturing over their shoulder at the now open shuttle ramp. Bodhi sighed. He needed to get his head together or he wouldn’t be any help on this mission at all.

Outside the ship, Bodhi rejoined the group, scientists checking and rechecking their equipment loaded onto some sort of modified hover sledge. Their excitement was noticeable, but Bodhi pushed down the uneasy feeling it gave him. These weren’t Imperial scientists, gleeful about the destruction they’d caused. They were just people who loved to learn about things. If anyone could find something good out of the Death Star, it would be them.

At the front of the group, a man, the mission leader judging by the rank badge of captain on his jacket, was in close conversation with Wedge. As Bodhi walked toward them, Wedge glanced up, then gestured for Bodhi to come closer. The beginnings of a smile slipped across his face, quickly replaced by a more neutral expression as he looked between Bodhi and the captain. “Bodhi, maybe you can help with this. We have reports of some sort of settlement, but there isn’t anything reliable to use as a reference point. Do you know where we are? Can you recognize anything?”

Bodhi looked around him, up toward the dust filled sky then down to his feet, boots already covered in red dust. He could barely see twenty meters in front of him, but he didn’t want to point out the obvious that bluntly. Any part of Jedha that he’d known was gone like it had been wiped from existence. The holy city built high on the hill, the crowded marketplaces that he’d known like the back of his own hand when he was a child, the crouched old woman that gave them just a bit of extra flour when Bodhi let her pinch his cheek, the sloth-like man that would trade whatever creation Bodhi’d strung together from scraps and junk for something sweet that he and his mother couldn’t otherwise afford – it was all just _dust_.

Tears threatening, Bodhi shook his head. “I’m sorry - I - I don’t know. There’s nothing…” Bodhi paused, clearing his throat. “Where are we supposed to have landed?”

Wedge looked to the captain, then down at the datapad in his hand, offering it to Bodhi with a pained expression on his face. “Sorry, I guess I didn’t really think that one through.”

Bodhi waved him off, taking the datapad and trying to make sense of the map laid out on the screen. It appeared to be an old map of Jedha, their current location marked by a slowly blinking blue dot, but the orientation kept shifting like they were turning this way and that even though Bodhi was standing perfectly still. Bodhi turned the pad, trying to follow the map, but it only made him more disoriented. “This is useless”, Bodhi muttered, mostly to himself, though Wedge hummed a quiet agreement.

A passing scientist glanced at the screen as they walked by, apparently having heard Bodhi’s comment as well. “’Netic poles are all kriffed, sirs. No use trying to make sense, tech won’t do much but spit out sludge like that.” The captain nodded, already settled on the next course of action.

“Right, listen up everyone! We have minimal intel on this planet. Tech’s kriffed so we’re onto Plan B – team leaders see Lieutenant Antilles for assignments. If you don’t have a blaster already, see Sergeant Dameron at Shuttle 2. Heads up and eyes open people. Disasters create opportunists, so watch each other’s backs. Someone from your team should be on comms at all times. Understood? Good – move out in five!”

The camp seemed to jump into motion at that. It was impressive, if a bit chaotic in Bodhi’s eyes. Wedge tugged on his arm, his fingers loosely wrapped around Bodhi’s wrist. “Come on, you need a blaster.” Bodhi let himself be led to the Sergeant, who gave him one look and produced one, along with a thigh holster, which Bodhi quickly strapped to his leg. He looked up to find Wedge watching him with wide eyes.

“What? Have I got it on the wrong way?” He looked down to check, running his hands over the straps to be sure they were secure.

Wedge rubbed at the back of his neck absently. “No – no, you’re good. I’ve got to.. just… go over here. Um. Assignments. Meet – meet me over there when you’re ready.”

Bodhi watched as Wedge walked away, both eyebrows raised. Behind him, the Sergeant, Dameron, snorted out a laugh. Bodhi turned at the sound, looking back and forth between Wedge’s rapidly retreating form and the amused man beside him. “What - what just happened?”

Dameron laughed louder at that. “Oh boy, you two are _clueless_ , aren’t you? Force save us all.”

 

\------------

 

They split up into groups of six, someone from medical and someone from science teamed up with the pathfinders that were in charge of getting them where they needed to be and keeping them safe at the same time. Bodhi found himself in a group with Wedge and Sgt. Dameron, along with the scientist that had helped him with his breathing mask, who finally introduced themselves as Noor. Leaving behind a group to guard the shuttles, the teams were sent off in each direction, with orders to report in every hour.

Within fifteen minutes, Bodhi realized that he could no longer see any of the other groups. Suddenly wary of what else might be hiding in the gloom, he hurried to catch up with Wedge, falling into step with him easily. Wedge looked at him, a small smile just touching the corners of his mouth. “This come anywhere close to what you expected?”

Bodhi looked around. “I don’t think my brain was capable of imagining _this_.”

Wedge scoffed. “I know.  I’m _here_ and I don’t quite believe it’s real.”

Suddenly, to their left, they heard a muffled shout. Equally as suddenly, Bodhi felt the hard press of a blaster against his spine. “Stop where you are. State your business on Jedha.” Glancing to his right, Bodhi saw that Wedge was in the same position, his hands frozen in the air. Two fingers twitched toward the blaster at his hip, but Bodhi gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

“We’re just here to see if anyone needs help. We don’t want to cause any trouble.”

Bodhi tried to keep his voice calm and even, unsure of why he had been chosen to speak.

The voice behind him chuckled. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. Alright, you lot are coming with us. And don’t even think about trying to escape, we have your friends too.”

Then there was a bag over his head and it took everything Bodhi had just to keep breathing.

\-------------

 

Bodhi wanted to open his eyes. Someone was calling his name, calling out _please please come back, Bodhi, listen to me Bodhi, Bodhi, it’s safe_. It felt like he had gone under a wave and lost the surface. He’d done that once, when he was very small. They’d managed to scrounge up enough – he didn’t know how, he didn’t want to imagine how - to catch a shuttle planetside, to the beaches of NaJedha, so different from the cold sand he was used to, and he’d run into the water before his mother could warn him about the waves. He’d never seen a wave, never knew that water could chase you, spin you around until up was down and down was up. Salt water in his eyes and up his nose, stinging, and then his mother’s arms wrapped tight about his stomach, pulling him from the water. He wished his mother was here now, to show him where the sky was, but there was just this voice whispering in his ear.

“Bodhi, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have sedated you, but you were panicking and I didn’t know what they’d do.”

The voice is frantic, shaking hands running up and down his arms and pushing the hair back from his face. His forehead scrunched up in confusion, hadn’t he been wearing a mask before? Bodhi took a deep breath, trying to focus his mind. He knew that voice. Bodhi forced his eyes open, blinking to adjust to the dim lighting. He was laying on the ground, but they weren’t outside. A concerned face was hovering over his, mouth drawn to a thin, tight line.

“W-Wedge?”, Bodhi croaked, turning his head to the side to cough. Someone had taken his mask, but Wedge wasn’t wearing one either and they were both still breathing so he assumed that it was safe for the moment. He wanted to ask a hundred questions, his heart racing as he looked into Wedge’s eyes, but before he could say anything a woman’s voice broke the silence.

“Get him up. I want some clear answers on who you people are and what you are doing on Jedha or we are going to have to take some drastic measures.” The woman’s voice was rough, like she’d been drinking sand. Judging by the air outside that wasn’t far outside the realm of possibility. Wedge got to his feet, leaning down with his hand outstretched toward Bodhi. Bodhi took Wedge’s hand, using it as leverage to pull himself up from the ground. He smacked at the dust covering his pants, jostling the empty blaster holster still strapped to his leg. Wedge stood beside him, hand still clasping Bodhi’s in a firm grip. Bodhi leaned against his shoulder, grateful for the support. He still felt disoriented and, if he was being honest with himself, he trusted Wedge to keep him on his feet.

Bodhi looked up at his surroundings. They were in some sort of enclosure, low ceilings of rough canvas stretched overhead. A motley group of people stood across the room from he and Wedge, most with rough cloth covering their faces from the nose down. He could see fairly well, but there were deep shadows behind their captors that could have hidden any number of things. He didn’t see anyone else from the Alliance and he opened his mouth to ask where they were, but Wedge squeezed his hand, almost painfully hard, so he snapped it shut just as quickly.

“Why should we tell you who _we_ are? Who are you?” Wedge spoke with a hard edge to his voice, addressing the crowd as a whole. There was a low murmur of voices, but the woman who had spoken first turned and glared at them until it stopped.

“We will ask the questions. We know this one, the traitor to Jedha. Anyone that travels with him must be a traitor as well, especially if they refuse to offer any defense. Have you come to finish what you started? Will you blow us up from the inside this time, instead of like a coward in the sky? You must not know how many credits you are worth to the Empire, or you would have never shown your face here.”

Bodhi took a step forward, his mouth falling open in shock. “I didn’t – I didn’t mean for any, for ANY of this to happen! You think I wanted this? This was my home too! And these people, these people are the ones that DESTROYED the machine that did this to you. How dare – how DARE you insinuate that they had anything – that they could be the reason. No – NO, you want to blame me, that’s fine. I’ll accept that. But we came to help, to RESCUE you.”

Bodhi was shouting by the time he was finished, his hands clenched into fists. His chest rose and fell in great heaving breaths. He was so angry, angry that he’d come back to this place, angry that he’d brought the other rebels into danger. Angry at himself for thinking he could ever make amends for his part in their sorrow. Bodhi sagged back into Wedge, rubbing roughly at his eyes with his palms, defeated by his own mind.

A small argument had broken out among the Jedhan survivors, the woman who had spoken for the group gesturing wildly in their direction and spitting harsh words in a hushed voice at two other women. They had pulled their face coverings off, shaking the dust filled rags to punctuate their words.

From the back of the group an elderly woman leaning heavily on a cane walked forward with slow, careful steps. The argument cut off abruptly, every eye in the room watching as she stepped up in front of Bodhi, the top of her head barely coming up to his chest.

“Enough of this. He is a child of Jedha, just as all of you are. The Force has willed this to happen, so we must accept it. The Force has brought this child home, so we must accept him back.”

Tucking the crook of her cane into a loop tied at her hip, she raised her hands to Bodhi’s cheeks, running her thumbs tenderly down his face. Bodhi closed his eyes, tipping his head down toward her.

“No more tears, dear one. There is far more to your story than what is in the past.”

Bodhi covered her hands with his, pulling them from his face gently. “Naani -  grandmother, I don’t deserve your kindness, but I thank you. Please, we really only want to help. Where are the rest of the people that came with us?”

The old woman smiled, pulling her cane from its loop before turning to lead them into another room. “Come this way. First we eat, then we can talk of this rescue you are proposing.”

Bodhi started to follow behind her, but stopped short as Wedge took his hand. He was watching Bodhi with a look of wonder on his face. He took a step closer, then leaned in to press a soft kiss to Bodhi’s cheek. “You amaze me, Bodhi Rook.”

He moved to pull away, to follow the crowd of people filing out of the room, but Bodhi reached out and grabbed the collar of his shirt, tugging him back into place. He leaned in, touching his mouth to Wedge’s in a soft kiss and then, with a sigh, pressed back in with intent, bringing his hands up to thread through Wedge’s hair.

As the kiss ended, Wedge pulled Bodhi into his arms, looking into his eyes with curiosity. “Not that I’m complaining, but what was that for?”

Bodhi smiled. “It seemed like a good way to start the next part of my story.”

**Author's Note:**

> a huge thank you to [MoragMacPherson](http://archiveofourown.org/users/MoragMacPherson/pseuds/MoragMacPherson) for being a wonderful beta and friend and for giving me the confidence to finish this. Written for Bodhi Rook Week 2017, Day 3: Jedha.


End file.
